Showing posts with label holy crap. Show all posts
Showing posts with label holy crap. Show all posts

Friday, April 6, 2012

This tastes like burning: DIY Cadbury Eggs

Why?  Why?!?  The thought of a regular one makes my teeth hurt.  Why would someone feel the need to embiggen the horribleness so?

Pimp That Snack - The Creme de la Creme Egg via Mental Floss


















Standard creme egg : Height : 2" Girth : 4" Weight : 40 g Calories : 175
Creme de la creme egg : Height : 8". Girth : 16.5". Weight : A whopping 2.25 kg!! Calories : estimated 10000!!

Do you like your creme egg of normal size, but find that the gooey fondant center isn't sweet enough for you?  Why not add a dollop of canned frosting and some sprinkles?  Seriously, why?

Cakespy: Cadbury Creme Deviled Eggs | Serious Eats : Recipes

Thursday, September 30, 2010

'Reply All' is the 7th circle of Hell

Below is the thread of an actual email I was actually copied on.  It is real, and it is spectacular.
Subject: scheduling changes

------------------------

Dear All,
Please note the following scheduling changes below. A new confidential workplan has been posted to the ftp site.
----------
From: CY
i think this email was sent to me in error.
----------
From: HM
me too- ?
----------
From: SB
Dear All:
I think this email was sent to me in error, too.
----------
From: ED
me too?
----------
From: JK
Me as well.
----------
From: MM
Me as well
----------
From: NH
I think you are probably looking for N. 
----------
From: CS
and me
----------
From: NJ
Me too....
----------
From: KK
Me too!
----------
From: EG
ditto
----------
From: GP
and me
----------
From: HE
I think this was sent to me in error as well. 
----------
From: WH
Me too...
----------
From: TG
I am not quite sure if this message was intended for me.
----------
From: CB
I think this was sent to me in error also.
----------
From: SL
And me as well.
----------
From: JS
Me too.
----------
From: SE
and me
----------
From: JL
Me too!
----------
From: SN
Me too.
----------
From: JT
This has been sent to us in error, also.
----------
From: TW
Me too
----------
From: AB
I think I'm on this email by mistake.
----------
From: CC
To me too...
----------
From: ST
me, too
----------
From: LK
STOP REPLYING ALL
----------
From: SH
me too
----------
From: SW
me too?
----------
From: AP
me too
----------
From: DS
I think I got this in error.
----------
From: DW 
Hi, I think this may have been sent to me in error as well.
----------
From: MM
I'll join the list also. Wrong person?...
----------
From: AM
And me….
----------
From: SS
Understood... Please stop responding!!!
----------
From: LO
I erroneously received it as well.
----------
From: PS
This email was sent to me in error.
----------
From: AS
..and me
----------
From: MC
CAN YOU GUYS STOP REPLYING TO ALL. Now instead of having this email once I have it 25 times. Just write back to the person who sent it!!!!!!!!!!!!!
----------
From: NL
ME TOO!!! How odd...
----------
From: SW
And me.
----------
From: SN
Me too.
----------
From: KG
me too
----------
From: CC
Me too. 
----------
From: KA
All,
Apparently there was an error in sending and most of us shouldn’t have received this. Can we kindly stop hitting “reply all”, however?
---------
From: AR
If you received this email in error. DO NOT reply to all. Reply only to A.
----------
From: MWG
Can we please all stop REPLYING ALL. You are crashing my inbox!
----------
From: AM
Same here.
----------
From: AC
Same here!
----------
From: LM
Me too
----------
From: BM
But for one brief moment, we've all been brought together by this. Can't you feel the love? 
----------
From: KZ
and me
----------
From: JF
Here too!
----------
From: SW
LOL...
----------
From: AB
Ditto
----------
From: LD
Yup, me 2.
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From: TM
I feel like I need to take a shower.
----------
From: MK
Same here. 
----------
From: AS
This has made our day.
----------
From: CE
...and me.
----------
From: ZM
This gave me a good laugh.
----------
From: JJ
..and me too.
----------
From: HG
me too..
----------
From: WS
Look out its an worldwide e-mail-valanche!
----------
From: JB
and that was the book of the never ending story

FIN 



Thursday, April 15, 2010

That's a damn fine cup of coffee. Damn fine.

20 years? TWENTY YEARS???

 *sigh*

It's hard to believe, but April 8 was the 20th anniversary of the debut of Twin Peaks.  I was in college at the time, and clearly couldn't be seen hanging out in the TV room when I could be out doing college type stuff, so I had my mom tape it for me.  This meant when I came home at breaks, I would have 5 or 6 hours of show that I would watch all at one go.

It was kind of like having your brain removed, danced on by a midget, and then replaced with pie.

I wonder if Josie is still trapped in the night stand?

Will There Ever Be Another Show Like Twin Peaks? - Twin Peaks - io9

And there's always music in the air.




Twin Peaks parody by Saturday Night Live (1990)
Uploaded by Malmignatte. - See more comedy videos.

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

IT BURNS! OH GOD, IT BURNS!!!!!

I'm a deeply indebted to @bobbyhank for alerting me to some exciting news - today is the 31st anniversary of the airing of one of the greatest achievements in teevee history. I can't believe I almost missed it!

To mark the day I'm reposting this entry from the 12/26/08 wax|wendy archives. Don't say I never gave you anything ...

********

When I was a kid, there were a few occasions when gifts would magically appear a few days after Christmas. One year, my mom forgot about a pair of earrings she'd gotten me. Another year, my brother really, really, really wanted a Colossal Fossil Fight. Mom couldn't find the game anywhere, and finally happened upon one, on sale, post-Christmas.

So she put it under my brother's bed, and told him she thought maybe Santa had come back with an extra present for him. Oh, the joy in our house that day! Oh, the hours of fun and entertainment we had!

The present I leave under your bed today? Yeah, it's nothing like that at all.

Behold! I give you ... The Star Wars Holiday Special ...



Under no circumstances should you try and watch this 2 hour abomination in one go. I barely made it through the list of guest stars, and that's only the first 2 1/2 minutes. Bea Arthur! Diahann Carroll! Art Carney! Harvey Korman! It's like an episode of the Love Boat up in here.

Enjoy!

Saturday, October 31, 2009

Happy Halloween : FIRE IN THE HOLE!!!


Well sure. Spare time + basic engineering skills = CANON!!


The cannon is mostly used on weekends to attract people to Gill’s Farm Market on Route 209 in Hurley, but sometimes the guys get together at the 1,500-acre farm and blast it when nobody’s around. Just for fun.

They’ve shot pumpkins, scuba tanks and a basketball filled with corn and foam insulation. They once scattered some geese by accidentally shooting into the flock. Then there’s the time they shot a bowling ball more than a mile.

“The first time we shot a bowling ball, that’s was probably the worst thing we ever did,” Arold says. “It kept going and going and going.” -- via
Neatorama

How did I not know that the World Championship Punkin Chunkin is right in my back yard? I am so going to Delaware next weekend ... Wait! What am I saying? I'm going to Hawaii next weekend! Good thing I remembered.

Monday, September 28, 2009

Your Monday morning moment of HOLY CRAP SWEET MOTHER OF GOD!!


Video taken September 24 from Broken Hill during the Australian dust storm.

End times, y'all. End times ...

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Handcraft of the Week: d20 Handbag of Holding

When I was in 7th grade a couple of my guy friends tried to teach me how to play D+D. It didn't appeal to me, and I never got into it, which is weird because I generally love all things fantasy. Clearly I needed to have the game presented in a way that better spoke to me, because if they had broken this out? Oh, I would have been all over me some D+D!



Evil Mad Scientist Laboratories has detailed instructions for d20 and d12 bags, with patterns and pre-cut kits in the works. 

d20 Handbag of Holding: How to build it - Evil Mad Scientist Laboratories

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

This one goes to one hundred



Musician Brodie Cumming has put together a pretty amazing medley of 100 well known and influential guitar riffs. I am appalled - appalled - to say that I could only positively identify 41 of them. There were another 13 that I recognized but couldn't name, and then 46 that I just had no clue. You will be shocked, I'm sure, to discover that I'm not very well versed in the works of Pantera, Motorhead, Judas Priest, or Dokken.  I also whiffed on the Joe Satriani and Yngwie Malmsteen.  Brian L., wherever you are, I am deeply, deeply sorry.  

I also discovered that I don't know the actual names of any Led Zeppelin songs, although I instantly knew that's what they were.  

Check out Brodie's website for a list of all the songs.  He loves him some Van Halen and Zeppelin, but you know, who doesn't?   Jimmy Page and Eddie Van Halen are geniuses.  Geniuii?  I was a little disappointed that Heart's "Barracuda", ZZ's "La Grange", and "Satisfaction" weren't included.  But props for including Living Colour.  

Previously on wax|wendy: Meet the Hera to all these gods.

Monday, August 3, 2009

Your Monday morning moment of WTF??

My tv boyfriend Anthony Bourdain has said some pretty harsh things about tablescape maven Sandra Lee.  Such as:
The most terrifying thing I've seen is her making a Kwanzaa cake. Watch that clip and tell me your eyeballs don't burst into flames. It's a war crime on television. You'll scream.


To be fair, he's not wrong.  Seriously, what is going on there?  Corn nuts?  Corn nuts??

But you can only talk smack for so long until your words ... and the object of derision ... catch up with you.

I'm pretty sure, judging by the vestigial ectoplasm on my jacket that I was sideswiped by pure evil.

An icy, tendril of fear runs down my spine. I turn and find myself looking straight into the deceptively attractive and reasonable looking face of Sandra Lee.

Now, I've said some unkind things over the years about Sandra. Far too many and far too terrible things to ever apologize for. Plus, I pretty much meant every word. Once you've seen Sandra making Kwanzaa Cake on YouTube, there's no backing down.  Sandra is talking. I know this cause her lips are moving and she's saying--overtly anyway, nice things. Like "You're a very naughty man," and she's chatting amiably with my wife. But one hand is picking over me like the meat buyer at Peter Luger selecting a rib section--like some demonic bird of prey is poking and prodding, deciding where the weakest, most tender point of entry is, giving, as I recall, a point by point review of her investigations to my wife--who ordinarily, I have to say, would have been across the table with a tomahawk chop elbow to the top of the skull by now, but who, like me, sits mesmerized and grinning insanely, frozen by the ..bizarrenessof the moment which seems to go on forever as Sandra's hand wanders upward, tugs an ear lobe and asks if my ears are red yet. (They were.) Having had her way with me, she leaves the emptied husk of my carcass teetering at the table and moves on.

I felt like the victim of a drive-by shooting. "What just..happened?" I said with a weak, trembly voice. I looked around to see if anyone else had noticed the quiet but very thorough disembowelment that had just occurred. Nothing. It had looked, to anyone who'd care to notice, like any other cocktail party conversation--but I knew better. I had looked into those eyes. I'd seen. Oh, she was smiling all right, but I'm pretty damn sure you could have dragged a rusty butterknife across my carotid artery right there at the table and her expression would not have changed, maybe only the eyes, they'd roll over white as I geysered onto the chafing dishes.

All things considered, I think their encounter went pretty well.  Team Tony!



via via via Eat Me Daily

Thursday, July 30, 2009

I can't decide if I'm horrified or hungry

Oh, who am I kidding.  I could totally go for a krab salad sandwich right about now.

Even after reading this:
Frozen slabs of Surimi... are mixed with starch, egg whites, and crab flavorings. Without the flavoring, mild Surimi has almost no taste at all... Next Surimi paste pumps over to the cook lines, where it extrudes out into thin ribbons...
I love the word "extrude".  I most often associate it with play-doh.  Actually, there's quite a bit of similarity between the two ... 

Clickie on the linkie for the video, and tell me I'm not right.

Monday, June 29, 2009

And then I had a panic attack

That blur in a white tshirt on the left? That would be Lost's Henry Ian Cusick - Desmond, brutha - having lunch with his family in my office's cafeteria.

I believe the word you're looking for is SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!