It's British Friday! It's British Friday!

It's no secret that we love us some Jason Statham here at wax|wendy.  Naturally I was delighted last night when @tortiegirl advised me that he has a new movie coming out.  My first thought though when I read Killer Elite: Statham Vs. Owen was, "Owen Wilson? What? Why?"

Then I clickied on the linkie.

Not Owen Wilson.

Clive Owen.  *GASP!*


Shit just got real.

The Stathe is an action god, and Clive Owen has some surprising chops.  If you've seen Shoot 'em Up (and why haven't you?) you know what I'm talking about.

Also, two words: pleasuring Monica Bellucci while fighting ninjas at the same time.

From what I can gather from the trailer, the movie is basically The Stathe and Clive Owen beating holy hell out of each other for two hours. Robert De Niro and Mr. Eko from LOST are there too. Yes please!

As the BuzzFeed so eloquently put it, we all win!

British Friday, observed: I'm not really English but I play one in the movies

In my next life, I want to be a set decorator for a genre show

Amy Wells has one of the coolest jobs EVER.

She's the set decorator for Mad Men (Season 3 premieres tonight on AMC).  It's her job to make sure the background details are true and authentic, from the upholstery and appliances to the gum under the desks.

The detail that people went through in those days was just so well worth it. I mean, when I look at it, I just - I really appreciate it ... I think it's those details in life that make life more interesting. It seems like everything is so homogenized and bland compared to how it used to be.

I don't envy her production schedule, or the resulting stress, but the idea of spending my days scouring thrift stores or pouring over old catalogs for inspiration?  Sign me up!

A Mad Dash To Decorate 'Mad Men' : NPR

I review it : Public Enemies

Actually, I'm going to let TortieGirl guest review it:  It felt like a cheap fabric [or a $3 dress - w|w] , and I wanted to be enveloped in velvet.  Also, just moving the camera around is not a style.

Thanks TortieGirl!  Johnny Depp is of course wonderful.  I'd take that ride with his Dillinger.

3 tommy guns out of 5.

British Friday, Part of the Second: WTF? edition

The Del Monte Daniel Craig Popsicle

via Eat Me Daily

Really? Already? Didn't this season of Lost just start?

*sigh*   

Tonight is the season finale of Lost - and then they're on hiatus until January.  

JANUARY, PEOPLE!!!

Darlton are going to be hard pressed to top "We have to go BAAAAAAAACK!!" and moving the Island, but I have faith.  Which apparently JJ Abrams is counting on, since he pretty much confirmed that they are just making it up as they go along.  But you know, in a good way.  I mean, they didn't plan initially for Michael Emerson to stick around, and look how that's turned out.

Awesomely. 

My prediction for the finale? Jack and Sayid detonate Jughead over the energy pocket, creating a singularity ... and then a Romulan mining ship appears.

** LOST **

Do be sure to join Therese tomorrow for the Lost live chat.  Also, time is running out to enter Tubular's trivia challenge.  And you're gonna need some time to puzzle through yesterday's Mathlete approved noodler.

Spoilery clips below:

And a not at all spoilery clip - except maybe for Star Trek 

* wink wink *

British Friday - Stringer Bell is on The Office now? edition

I gotta start watching that show again.

Jezebel - Big British Actor Loves His Itty-Bitty Obama Button - Idris Elba

Monday morning moment of Zen: Cha-cha heels edition

Chiwetel Ejiofor should totally be the new Doctor, imho.

What do you do if you're really sick?

I'm still pretty psyched that wax|wendy has gone global. This morning Ms. Constantine (Antipodes, represent!) posted this comment regarding my quest for a doctor:

I'm a bit surprised if I ring my doctor in town in the morning and can't get an appointment for the next day at the latest. Usually if I ring in the morning I can get an appointment in the afternoon.

But then I live in New Zealand, there are constant news stories about a lack of doctors but it sounds like we are doing well compared.

What do you do if you're really sick?

That is an excellent question.  And it's part of what prompted me to finally get a GP.  Two events occurred in close succession back in the spring.  First, I fell on my knee and bruised it quite badly.  It was hugely swollen, and I really thought I might have fractured the knee cap.   Then,  a few weeks later, I developed an ear infection.  In both cases, my initial reaction was "Shit!  What do I do?!  What do I do?!".

With my knee, I got lucky.  My company has a nurse on staff, who made a call, and got a doctor to fit me in that afternoon.  I had briefly considered going to the Emergency room.  Which, for a lot of people in the US, insured and uninsured, is where they go for primary care.  But I decided I didn't want to sit around for 5 or 6 hours to have some resident poke at me, tell me it was a bruise, ice and elevate it.  I could do that for free at home.

With the ear, I went to a MinuteClinic - a walk-in drugstore clinic staffed by a nurse practitioner.  Its not a perfect model, but it definitely fills a need.  You don't need an appointment.  You get in, get your self diagnosis confirmed, get some drugs (maybe pick up some milk and glossy celebrity tabloids), and you're on your way.

In the past, when I did have a regular doctor, I rarely had a problem getting a last minute appointment.  She was part of a fair sized practice, including several other MDs and nurse practitioners.  So even if she didn't have an opening, someone else did.

I'm hopeful that once I'm established with my new doctor, that will be the case again.

But for a lot of people, I think they just make the most of whatever services are available. Otherwise, they just do without and hope for the best.

An open letter to Sports Illustrated

Dear SI,

This?  This right here?  This is how you do a Michael Phelps cover.

credit: Mark Seliger

Kisses,

wax|wendy

GOLDEN BOY: MICHAEL PHELPS: GQ Features on men.style.com

I'm being punk'd right? The King is punking me, isn't he?

This is now the second time today that I've seen or heard an actual news piece that reads like an Onion headline.  Am I in Bizarroland?  I must be in Bizarroland.  Because only in Bizarroland would smelling like a BK fry guy be a turn on.

BURGER KING FLAME™ - Body spray of seduction, with a hint of flame-broiled meat.

I review it: Australia

"The only thing you truly own is your story. I'm just trying to live a good one."The Embassy of Australia hosted an advance screening of Baz Luhrmann's new movie Australia at work last night. Thanks to boss man TAJ, I scored tickets.

ZOMFG THIS MOVIE IS AWESOME!!!!!

The only movie I can compare Australia to is Gone with the Wind.  It is an epic film in the tradition of Hollywood's Golden Age.  It's not a movie that can be easily summed up, because it has so many threads.  It's love, war, loss, family, loyalty, and treachery.  It's about trying to hold on to what's yours, whether it be land, a person, or an entire culture.  It's about learning to let go.  It's trying to find your place and figure out where you belong.  It's The Wizard of Oz filtered through the Dreamtime.

It will also make you cry.  Okay, it made me cry.  A lot.  

So I know I just said you can't summarize the movie, but I'm going to take a stab.  If you don't want to know anything and want to come into the movie fresh, now might be a good time to go see what's happening on the Gawker networks.

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Don't say I didn't warn you ... there be details here ...

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Nicole Kidman plays Lady Sarah Ashley.  She goes to Australia to sort out her husband, who's trying to make a go of a failing cattle station in the Northern Territory.   Hugh Jackman is the Drover, her husband's trusted man who is sent to fetch her.  They just want to get their cattle to market - there's a war on don't you know, and the King's Army requires beef.  There are some very, very bad men (DIE CRACK WHORES DIE!!!) who try to thwart them.

The whole story is narrated by Nullah, an Aboriginal boy who lives on the station.  He's half white, and that means he doesn't belong anywhere. The government won't allow him to stay in his community with his mother (part of an assimilation program that wasn't ended until the 1970's. Seriously), but white society doesn't want him either.

Things get off to a bit of a slow start, with early scenes played a little too broadly.  Dipping a toe into screwball territory.  Its very Baz, if that makes any sense.  But then our heroes get to droving, and the shit is ON.  There's a scene that will literally take your breath away.  In the sense that you can't breathe because OMGOMGTHEEDGETHEEDGEOHNOOHNOOHNO!!!

Yeah, its kind of like that.

Then things are okay for a while, but its only the calm before the storm.   The storm of Japanese zeros dropping bombs on the city of Darwin.  

It was the sight of King George standing silently in the middle of the jail yard while bombs rained down around him that had me shaking because I was trying so hard to keep the sobs in.  Okay, again, tearing up just thinking about it.  

King George is Nullah's grandfather.  He's a magic man who still sings the songs of the Dreaming.  And it may not be the subtlest metaphor in the world, but the imagery is highly effective.  The sight of this man from another time - another reality- standing silent and unmoved as his world is consumed in fire and chaos.

And in the end, there's no place like home.  No place like it.

**************************

Nicole Kidman is very good (and doesn't look too plastic).  Life in Australia (and three days in NeverNever Land) takes a woman brittle as glass and burns away every thing that doesn't matter.

I'll just say this about Hugh Jackman ...

No wonder People just named you sexiest man alive.  Because DAMN Wolverine.  DAY.  UM.

Now, the movie is 2 HOURS AND 40 MINUTES long, and pulls that bait and switch where you think its over, but no, there's still a 4th act and you probably really have to pee but hang in there.  Because it's well worth the price of admission.  I'd pay cash money to see it again.

4 baby eating dingoes out of 5.

Baz Luhrmann's Australia starring Nicole Kidman and Hugh Jackman opens November 26.