It's a Stampede! Link Roundup - I'll tumblr for ya edition

Suri Cruise and her biting fashion commentary is putting the Hollywood sandbox set on notice.

People want to believe that Harper Beckham and I are going to be rivals. This could not be further from the truth. I have no qualms with well-dressed, well-mannered young celebrities—it’s the slovenly little miscreants I take offense with. (And if you think I’m going to be jealous of a baby’s wardrobe, let me just remind you that I have invested $100,000 of Tom’s money in my shoe collection.)

Suri's Burn Book

If author Cormac McCarthy wrote achingly spare and atmospheric Yelp reviews instead of novels, they would sound something like this:

Paplote Mexican Grill 

Mission - San Francisco, CA Cormac M. | Author | A dusty home at the end of a road, NM

 Two stars

The young cowboy lies in the afternoon sun, gut shot. The bitter tang of cordite and blood mingles in his mouth. In his hand, a pearl handled revolver, still warm. He lies propped against the lone cottonwood. A mile distant, dust trails mark a coming reckoning. Three riders, maybe more. 

His eyes shift upward to a circling vulture, a sentinel of inevitability. The blood is almost black. He has another hour at most. The pain comes in waves, lingering like the burn of bad whiskey. One bullet left in the Colt. 

Something as yet unheralded has died when a quesadilla comes on a spinach tortilla.

Yelping with Cormac by EDW Lynch.

This tumblr is my spirit animal.

ANIMALS TALKING IN ALL CAPS by the fabulously funny and prolific Justin Valmassoi.

I'm also pretty sure he was at Nicki and Mark's birthday party.

And while not a tumblr, I do feel the need to mention Cutting Open An Animal And Crawling Inside to Survive A Storm In the Wild.  I've written about this blog before, but after "a year in a concrete wasteland ducking into liquor stores to survive storms", it's back with advice that's more relevant than ever:

An 'expert' on CNN just advised everyone to get to their safe room. He's a damn fool. Room's aren't safe. What holds them together? Nails. Razor sharp steel blades just waiting for the moment a hurricane frees them from bondage so they can ravage you and all those you love. Get out of your house! Get out of your apartment! Get outside before it's too late!

Our only hope is to cut open an animal and crawl inside to survive the storm in the wild.

Cutting Open an Animal and Crawling Inside to Survive a Storm in the Wild