Saturday, September 15, 2012

Sweetie, let's just have some bolly and a bitch through Vogue

Wendy Felton at glossed over undertook the formidable task of reading Vogue's September issue cover-to-cover in one go for her sixth annual Vogue live blog.  It's well worth a read and far more delightful, charming, and entertaining than the magazine issue itself.

It is in this spirit that it seemed an opportune time to recycle revisit my own sizing up of the 2009 September behemoth:

Girl, you better werq!  Fashion Week (originally posted September 11, 2009)

I cancelled my Vogue subscription a while ago, but they keep sending me magazines.  I recently received the September issue, and while thinner than last year's, it's still not something you want to drop on anything wee or delicate.  Let's take a look at the issue, and how it measures up to various things in my apartment ...

It's   definitely smaller than a 14 oz. box of Cheerios.  Also, it will not help you lower your cholesterol.

Advantage: Cheerios

It takes 2 seasons of Supernatural on DVD to stack up to the September Vogue; however, Jensen Ackles may be prettier than Charlize Theron.

Advantage: Supernatural

You need almost three copies of Frank Herbert's Dune series to equal one Vogue.    You might think Vogue has the edge here, but I'll actually read the Dune books more than once.

Advantage: Dune   

Vogue is almost as large as the cast iron ebelskiever pan, and certainly as heavy.  But if you pour batter onto Vogue and place it on a gas stove, all you will succeed in doing is burning the kitchen down.

Sadly, while Vogue may offer 584 stylish steals and smart splurges, it will not offer me delicious pancake balls.

Advantage: ebelskiever pan

Sorry Vogue.   Better luck next year.

1 comment:

tortiegirl said...

Hilarious. You know, I've always thought that Vogue was such a "non-magazine" - the articles are short and POINTLESS and the photography, though stylish and artsy, offers no help to those of use who have to live in reality. I got a free subscription for a year and didn't renew because I couldn't see the point. I'm not going to buy Prada and I don't want to look at emaciated boyish-looking girls modeling Victorian/Gothic riding frocks.
And please, I love me my Charlize, but come on. We know who wins the "I'm the prettiest" contest and that would be Jensen. Hands down. :)